Talking To My Brain, A Sad Liver, & Some Turmeric

For the past few weeks, my body just hasn’t felt quite right. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I’ve always been very aware of when something is wrong. I’ve been exhausted, more so than usual, to the point that being creative has felt almost impossible.

Then, two Saturdays ago, Han and I went out to an Italian restaurant with our friends, Geralt and Luna. I ordered tortellini with tomato sauce, and honestly, it wasn’t very good. I can buy better quality tortellini and pasta sauce from Heinen’s to make at home. This food tasted like it came out of a box, which was disappointing.

When we got home, this acidic pain bloomed in my chest. It came in waves, ebbing and growing every few minutes. I don’t experience heartburn very often, but I knew what it felt like, so I took a Tums and tried to forget about it. Over the next few hours, the pain continued to worsen, and at around 12:30 a.m. I ended up … er … tossing my cookies. And I mean all of them.

Under remotely normal circumstances, that would’ve made me feel better. So I waited a few minutes for the relief to set in, for the pain to subside, but it remained. As a last-ditch effort, I took a shower, and when that didn’t work, I was exhausted. So, ignoring the pain, I lay down and went to bed.

For about three hours, I shifted in and out of restless sleep, trying to find some position where the burning pain couldn’t find me. Absolutely nothing helped.

At three in the morning, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling for about twenty minutes, going through all of it in my head. The pain had only gotten worse.

Do I need to go to the hospital? I asked myself. I definitely didn’t want to spend my Sunday in the ER, especially if it turned out to be a bad case of heartburn. By this point, I was starting to feel anxious. I was pretty sure heartburn wasn’t supposed to last more than a few hours, and it had been six.

You might know from reading my previous posts that I have chronic anxiety, and that I’m also a bit of a hypochondriac. I often “don’t feel right,” so I go through an entire conversation with myself whenever I find myself in this situation. You think it’d be straightforward, but it really isn’t.

BRAIN: Are you blowing this out of proportion?
ME: Maybe? It’s hard to tell. You know how my anxiety is.
ANXIETY: Not blowing it out of proportion, it hurts so much!
BRAIN: How bad is the pain?
ANXIETY: It’s pretty fucking bad. Can we go to the hospital now? Jess, you know you have a high pain tolerance. If it hurts so bad that you can’t even sleep, then we need to go.
BRAIN: *sighs* On a scale of one to ten.
ANXIETY: Nine.
ME: *feeling a bit doubtful of anxiety* Nine is pretty high … I’m not screaming, I’m pretty sure childbirth or getting shot would be a lot more painful.
ANXIETY: Is that what people mean when they ask that question? If you’re measuring pain on a scale of one to ten, are you supposed to imagine the most painful thing you can think of and then compare it to that? Or is it more like you’re comparing this pain to all of the pain you have previously experienced?
ME: … I … actually don’t know.
BRAIN: Let’s think about this logically. Can we look up your symptoms online?
ME: *cringing* You remember how Anxiety reacted last time we looked up symptoms?
BRAIN: *Looks up over its glasses at Anxiety* Well, you’re wide awake and in pain with nothing else to do. We need to figure out what’s going on here. Anxiety, can you go sit in the corner while we look this up?
ANXIETY: Uhh, sure, I guess …
BRAIN: *pulls up my phone* Okay, so here it says heartburn should not last more than a few hours. It’s been what … six hours?
ME: Yep. That’s not good. Look here, it also says you should probably see a doctor if you experience heartburn accompanied by vomiting.
ANXIETY: *sneaking up behind me, and Brain* What if it’s an ulcer!? *steals my phone and searches up ulcer symptoms* Look! That sounds like what you are experiencing!
ME: *looking at Brain* It … kinda does …
BRAIN: Okay. Wake up Han. We’ll see what he thinks.

At that point, I did what Brain recommended, because Han is a lot more level-headed about these things. After a few minutes of discussion and going through my list of symptoms, Han cringed.

“Whatever you want to do, we’ll do,” he said. “I don’t really know how to help … if you feel like it’s that bad, and it’s not just your anxiety, then we should go.”

So that settled it.

Han took me to the ER at 4 a.m., which isn’t far from our apartment. They took my blood and did a CAT scan while we waited for a room in the ER. The CAT scan was super freaky, and the contrast they injected into my blood made me feel super weird for a bit.

At about 10 a.m. I finally got a room in the ER, and a doctor came to tell me that some enzymes in my liver were super elevated. They’re supposed to be under 50, and mine were over 500. Yeah, this felt like the time to start freaking out.

Sad liver!

I was admitted to the hospital and was given a nicer room around 1 p.m. They hooked me up to an IV and gave me fluids.

Mom and Lottie came to visit me in the early evening, which was nice because it allowed Han to go home, work out, shower, and bring me some things to do. Mom and Lottie helped take my mind off of everything, and Lottie talked to me about her boy drama for the week. That’s always a good distraction.

When Han returned, he hooked up our Apple TV to the hospital TV. He’d also brought my Nintendo Switch, the book I’m currently reading––Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson––and my laptop in case I wanted to write. I was way too stressed out to write, so I spent the rest of the night watching Star Wars: Rebels, playing Fortnite, and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I had to stay the night, and Han stayed with me the entire time.

The IV was in the crook of my left arm, and it felt gross to move it around, so I did my best to keep it straight. Even so, I must have moved it around a little too much because around 10 p.m., my arm started to feel cold, and the IV started to hurt. When someone came to check on me, I asked if they could check my IV, and they told me the IV must have shifted out of my vein because my arm shouldn’t have been so cold.

“Is that bad?” I asked, trying desperately hard not to sound like I was panicking.

The nurse shook her head. “No, it’s fine. The IV is draining under your skin instead of into a vein. It’s just saline, so your body will absorb it.”

“Oh … great …” I managed. My anxiety was pacified with the new knowledge, but I was so grossed out.

The next day, Monday, they wanted to keep me again because my numbers had gone up. Instead of 500, they were at 552, and the doctors weren’t entirely sure why this was happening. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I don’t take pain medication even when I probably should, just because I don’t like taking medication.

On Tuesday morning, my numbers had finally gone down to 300, so they released me with orders to rest until Monday–– today.

They are still unsure why this happened, but they have developed two theories.

Theory 1: I had COVID and didn’t know it. I have never tested positive for COVID, either at home or in a medical facility, but some people don’t ever test for it, even if they have it.

Mean turmeric!

Theory 2: I drink a lot of tea, and one of my favorites is turmeric ginger tea. I had a lot of that a few weeks ago, and then I had paneer butter masala from my favorite Indian restaurant. Many Indian dishes incorporate turmeric, but excessive consumption of this spice can lead to liver damage.

They still aren’t sure which one of these two things caused it. Either way, they’re pretty sure my liver being messed up was what also caused the severe heartburn, since livers produce bile, and when your liver is messed up, a whole horrible range of things can happen.

Anyway. If there’s a moral to this story at all, it’s fine to have turmeric, but avoid excessive amounts of it. It’s fine to have in small quantities, but maybe don’t drink four cups of turmeric tea in a day, just in case that’s what caused this whole fiasco. Though again … they still aren’t entirely sure.

Project Updates

Convergence

Nothing to see here … I mean literally nothing.

Fan Fiction

Don’t look at me!

Goals This Week

Can we get back to normal, please? Let’s see if I can meet these goals this week.

I'd like to write:

1. 500 words in Convergence that I actually keep
2. 500 words in my Fan Fic that I actually keep

And I'd like to read:

1. 1 chapter in Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

Jasper Update

Jasper had a tick this week. We took him to the vet and they removed it, but it was so gross! Although… with all of Jasper’s medical problems, my parents joked that they felt bad for the tick.

“I bet Jasper gave the tick Lyme disease,” my dad laughed.

Don’t worry, he was joking, and Jasper doesn’t have Lyme disease. So far.

Quote of the Week

What are your goals for the week? How have you guys been?

Catching Up on Sleep, A Hike, & A Rough Week for Jasper

* All names in this post have been altered for privacy.

For the first time in a long time, I had a surprisingly restful, yet productive weekend! I didn't do as much writing as I wanted to, but I never do. Also, sorry I took last week off of blogging. I was very sick last weekend, and it sort of lasted all through the week. But I'm better now, thank goodness.

Friday, I worked all day then went home. Han ordered us pizza and I tried to take a nap on the couch while he watched DC's Legends of Tomorrow. I say "tried" because he kept waking me up and saying, "Jess, watch this part! Watch this part!"

On Saturday, I woke up late, which was absolutely lovely. Han and I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning our apartment, and then we went on a two-mile hike. It was the perfect day for it, too! Here are some pictures from the day!

© Jessica McKendry

I was obsessed with the texture of this tree bark!
© Jessica McKendry

Gorgeous overlook of the marsh
© Jessica McKendry

© Jessica McKendry

© Jessica McKendry

Han was mostly on his phone catching Pokémon on Pokémon Go! but I didn't mind, we were outside getting exercise, talking, and walking at a decent pace. Apparently he caught some good ones, too.

After our hike, I finally convinced Han to watch Love Actually with me! I have been trying to get him to watch this movie for years and he constantly refused to watch it. And I know it's normal for most guys to not want to watch romantic movies, but Han loves romance movies, and I knew he'd love this one, too.

Overall, he rated his enjoyment of the movie 3.5 out of 5 stars, which is honestly a win.

I spent all Sunday writing 800 words in something completely unrelated to either of my current projects, but it was fun to write so I don't regret it.

Project Updates

Convergence

This week, I decided to completely rework the plot and do a deep dive into character development. I feel like I haven't settled on exactly how I want the plot to go yet, and that's been frustrating. 

Fan Fiction

I wrote about a thousand words in a fan fiction, but not the one I'm supposed to be working on, so … that's great.

Goals

Since I didn't blog last week, I'm carrying my goals from the week before that over. Let's see how well I did …

❌ 1,000 words in Convergence that I actually keep

This did not happen. I probably wrote over 1,000 words in my notes, but I only got 446 words in my draft finished.

❌ 1,000 words in my fan fic that I actually keep

So … I wrote about 1,000 words in a fan fiction, but not the one I'm supposed to be working on. Oops.

✔️ Read 2 chapters of Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

I did do this, and I also finished rereading Strike the Zither by Joan He.

Since I did such a bad job with my goals last week, I'm lowering them again. This week, I'd like to write:

• 500 words in Convergence that I actually keep
• 500 words in my Fan Fic that I actually keep

And I'd like to read:

• 2 more chapters in Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

Jasper Update

Jasper had a great time on our hike over the weekend! Ever since we rescued him, he has loved going on long walks through the woods. The rest of his week was kind of rough; he pooped in the apartment several times over the week, which used to be a rare occurrence but now it's happening more and more often.

We've taken him to the vet to try and figure out what's going on with him, but after hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of tests, they're still not entirely sure what's making him go to the bathroom all the time. I think I've mentioned it before, but he's got Cushing's disease, a degenerative spinal disease, an enlarged heart, and an enlarged liver. I'm sure there are other problems too, but we're just not sure of what they are yet.

Three or four times he's gone to the bathroom after 3 a.m. in our bedroom, and we've awakened right about that time to the horrible smell. We've tried doggy diapers, but he's figured out how to take them off at night, so we switched to those potty pads you can put on the floor. They've worked pretty well so far, but it's still been tough getting enough sleep when he has accidents.

Quote of the Week

HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND? WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS THIS WEEK, WRITING, READING, OR OTHERWISE?

Weekend Review #4

I spent the weekend in Fort Myers with my in-laws! It's been such a wonderful trip, and despite the heat, I always love coming to Florida to visit them in the summertime.

We spent a lot of time together, talking, laughing, eating delicious food my mother-in-law made, and giggling about my cute little sister-in-law. Her name is Yofi, she's four years old, and I actually helped pick her out as a baby. How lucky is that? I literally got to choose my sister-in-law!

Mother-in-law carrying Yofi
© Jessica McKendry

Yes, she's a dog, and it's the best!

Isn't she the cutest?

Anyway, we're home now, and getting back into the rhythm of things.

Project Updates

Original Project: Convergence

This week, I struggled the most with coming up with a prayer of mourning for one of my main characters. He is mourning the loss of his teacher, and he has spent an entire year grieving. I wanted him to say something beautiful, something almost poetic for the final prayer of mourning before returning to his duties as a warrior.

Let me tell you, I spent hours coming up with what he'd say, and then I spent another few hours coming up with a whole new language with different syntax and creating grammar rules for it. So I spent a lot of time being creative, but not a whole lot of time actually writing. Which was sort of annoying.

I think this might be the most elaborate form of procrastination I've yet to experience. Still, it was fun.

Fan Fic

I've written so much in Chapter 31 of my fan fic, but I keep erasing everything. It's been such a struggle figuring out how/where to start it. On Sunday, I may have actually figured it out, but we'll see. I may end up erasing it all again later this week.

Last Week's Goals

❌ 2,000 words in Convergence that I actually keep.

Unfortunately, I did not write 2,000 words in Convergence that I ended up keeping. I'm not entirely sure how many words I wrote, but I only kept 739 words. Ugh.

❌ 1,500 words in my Fan Fic that I actually keep.

This one was even worse. I only kept 175 words.

✔️ 2 chapters in Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson.

This was the only goal I actually met this week, and I ended up reading 3 chapters in Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson! I'm really enjoying this book so far, so I'm glad I was able to set aside some time to read it.

This Week's Goals

I thought I was being generous with myself last week, but it looks like I need to lower my expectations even more. Bleh.

This week, I want to:

1. Write 1,000 words in Convergence that I actually keep
2. Write 1,000 words in my Fan Fic that I actually keep
3. Read 2 chapters of Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

Jasper Update

We left Jasper with my parents over the weekend while we were in Florida. We always get worried about him when we travel, since he's technically been abandoned twice, so we don't like to leave him. But he was a very good boy for my parents! No accidents in their house, no getting into stuff he shouldn't, so overall, he gets a five star Good Boy rating for this weekend from me!

Is Jasper missing me?
PC: my mom

What a good boy!

Quote of the Week

Margaret Thatcher
PC: Wikipedia

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”

— Margaret Thatcher

What did you do over the weekend? What are your goals this week?

Weekend Review #3

Ahhh this weekend was crazy! Some of it was fun, but most of it was not.

On Friday, Han and I went to my parents' house for dinner to celebrate my dad getting his new job. That part was fun. I also was very happy to find out that my brother finally asked this girl he’s liked for a while to be his girlfriend! I’ve only met her once, and extremely briefly—I was in the middle of a Fortnite match, and I was trying not to die when she was leaving my parents’ house. I felt so bad!

Lottie was at a concert all night, but at some point she realized she'd lost her car keys, so I had to drive all the way out to her to deliver her spare car keys. I'm the oldest sibling, so of course I was grudgingly happy to do it, but I absolutely reserve the right to complain about it. Especially since I had to work Saturday morning.

Saturday was a bit crazy at the library. Our funding was cut recently, so we're down a person on Saturdays, and Saturday's are usually pretty busy. We managed, but it was a bit stressful! It also didn't help that I was exhausted from being up late Friday night.

On Sunday, Han and I went to Meijer when I was hungry, which was a huge mistake because I wanted to buy literally everything. We spent about two hours there, which was depressing because I really wanted to get writing done. Then I went back to my parents' house because we always do family dinner with them on Sunday evenings. Both my siblings live at home with them, so it's always nice to go and see everyone. 

Project Updates

Convergence

I didn't do any writing in Convergence this weekend, and I'm a little frustrated about that. There was a lot of other stuff going on, and not enough time. Currently, I have 393 words in my Second First Draft, which is absolutely pitiful. I think that's what I was at last week.

That means I didn't struggle with anything on Convergence this week.

Fan Fiction

I wrote 79 words in my fan fiction, but I also wrote 1,313 words in a short little fic that I posted for a challenge.

Goals This Week

Since I barely got any writing done last week, I'm going to try to make my goals very reasonable this week.

I'd like to write:

1. 2,000 words in Convergence that I actually keep
2. 1,500 words in my Fan Fic that I actually keep

And I'd like to read:

1. 2 chapters in Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

I think I'll be able to get more than two chapters in Oathbringer, but I'm being conservative in my goals this week.

Jasper Update

We had to take Jasper to the vet last week and we spent about $700 in medical bills. We have pet insurance for him, but we always have to pay first, and then the insurance reimburses us. He's 11 years old, he's got really bad arthritis, he's got Cushing's disease, and some degenerative spinal disease. His liver is too big, and his heart is too big––physically and metaphorically, which we already knew, he's the most loving dog in the world––and the vet put him on a ton of medication to see if it would help how often he's having accidents in the apartment, which didn't used to be a problem.

Still, he's all smiley and happy all the time, wiggling and wanting cuddles, gobbling down his food like crazy. Han accidentally dropped a frozen pizza roll on the ground, and Jasper basically inhaled it. He's a silly boy. I love him so much!

Quote of the Week

How was your weekend? What are your goals for this week?

Weekend Review: Project Updates, Family Vacation & A Poll

* All names have been changed for privacy.

This past weekend was sort of crazy. I worked all day on Friday, then spent all Friday night packing to go to Michigan. Every year around the Fourth of July, my family travels up north to a tiny lake right in the middle of Michigan. My mom and her two brothers own a cottage there that's been in the family for generations. It's small, and old, and there aren't enough beds, but there's a lake and a speedboat, and it's my favorite place to go in the summer.

Project Updates

Convergence

I am sad to admit that I did not get to work on Convergence at all this weekend, and this is how I feel about it ⬇️

I did get to work on it a bit more last week, though, so I currently have 245 words in my Second First Draft. Which is one page.

Honestly guys, I'm counting that as a win.

Fan Fiction

I did write 211 words in my fic this weekend, though! I've been stuck on Chapter 30 for months and I'm finally almost ready to send this chapter off to my beta reader. I have 86,000 words published on AO3, and 313 subscriptions, so I'm really trying to prioritize this since people are actually waiting on more.

Family Vacation

View from the Cottage

Han and I arrived at the Cottage on Saturday around 4 PM after about a five hour drive. I tried to read and write a little that day, but I was too tired from the drive to focus. I ended up playing a round of Fortnite with Han and my brother, Spike, and having a debate with my dad about what side of the Cottage is the "front"–the lakefront side, or the side that faces the street.

Intuitively, I feel like the lakefront side is the "front" and the street side is the "back" but my dad made the very good point that the front door of any house always faces the street. Which makes sense, but I don't have to like it.

On Sunday, Dad ran a workout session for us–myself, my mom, Uncle Goose, my cousin Oliver, and my cousin Kara–and made us do 50 air squats, and way too many pistol squats. If you don't know what those are, you're lucky. They're horrible, and my legs felt like jelly after doing them. We got so sweaty from the workout that when it was done, we all went outside and jumped in the lake.

The water was crisp and cool, but it was sunny and hot so it felt absolutely amazing.

In the water, Oliver taught us this game that he's played in his acting classes which he called the Story Game. We all stood in a circle in the water, and each of us was allowed to say one word to continue a sentence and make it into a story.

As an example, it went sort of like this.

DAD: Once.

OLIVER: There.

UNCLE GOOSE: Was.

MOM: A.

UNCLE TECH: Porcupine.

ME: That.

KARA: Walked.

DAD: On.

OLIVER: Stilts.

Of course, my family being my family, the stories got increasingly more ridiculous and grammatically incorrect, which induced fits of uncontrollable laughter. Honestly, it was most fun when it hardly made any sense.

The rest of the day I spent reading, writing, and developing a character for Dungeons & Dragons, which we're all going to try to play together once my other cousin and my sister make their way up here.

A Poll

This is a frequent debate my parents have, so now I have to know what you guys think. Don't look up the answer, I want to know what you feel, intuitively.

Weekend Review: Projects & World Refugee Day

*All names have been changed for privacy.

I did not do much at all this weekend and it felt amazing. Since the beginning of May, I have spent every single weekend either out of state or working, and this was my first weekend in weeks that I had nothing going on and it felt great.

Friday night after work, Han and I binge watched season 2 of Star Wars: The Bad Batch. We're in the middle of rewatching all Star Wars media in chronological order, which I make us do about once a year religiously. I'm not sure if that's healthy, but it makes me happy.

I did go out on Saturday night with my husband Han and a couple of his friends, since Han's birthday is Wednesday this week. My brother Spike just recently turned 21 so he came out with us, too, and that was fun.

Sunday, Han and I watched the movies Horrible Bosses and Fist Fight which was fun, but I mostly worked on writing this blog post while we watched those.

Project Updates

Convergence #1

Over the weekend I started what I’m calling My Second First Draft. In my First Draft I have about 40k words (about 150 pages), but I got stuck there a few months ago and haven't added much to it since. Now that I'm revisiting it, I've realized that everything I have needs to be scrapped.

I don't delete first drafts, so it's still hanging out in my "First Draft" folder, but it's almost completely unusable now. It's a little depressing, but at the same time, the whole reason I need to scrap it is because I've found a better direction to take this story. So I'm hopeful and excited to start anew.

Fan Fiction

I have 86k words published my Star Wars fan fiction on Archive of Our Own which is just a fantastic site, by the way. But I have been stuck on Chapter 30 for literally months now. Over the past few weeks, I've found the motivation to write about 200-800 words in it a few days a week, but we're at such an important part and I'm scared of messing it up.

This fan fiction has been challenging for me as a writer in so many ways. I am very much a planner when it comes to my writing, and I have done pretty much the exact opposite with this. I also have had very little to no editing in this, and I've been posting chapters as I go along, which has been very exciting and terrifying. I like that fan fiction is purely creative, writing about characters and settings you love. There's no "I might be able to make money off of this" it's all just for the love of writing.

It helps remind me why I love writing, and that all of my writing should feel this fun.

World Refugee Day

Last Friday was World Refugee Day. I worked 9-5 PM that day, but after work I went with my sister Lottie to the Loganberry Books bookstore because they were hosting an event for the day where 10% of all sales went to AMIS (Americans Making Immigrants Safe). So of course we had to go and buy a few books and sign up for volunteer opportunities.

I bought Sunrise On The Reaping by Suzanne Collins, and Hood Feminism: Notes From The Women That The Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall. I've read all the Hunger Games books, and Hood Feminism has been on my TBR list since 2020, so I was excited to have an excuse to buy those.

Some Great Books for World Refugee Day

Refugee by Alan Gratz

GENRE: YA Historical Fiction

GOODREADS SUMMARY: Josef is a Jewish boy living in 1930s Nazi Germany. With the threat of concentration camps looming, he and his family board a ship bound for the other side of the world. Isabel is a Cuban girl in 1994. With riots and unrest plaguing her country, she and her family set out on a raft, hoping to find safety in America. Mahmoud is a Syrian boy in 2015. With his homeland torn apart by violence and destruction, he and his family begin a long trek toward Europe.

All three kids go on harrowing journeys in search of refuge. All will face unimaginable dangers–from drownings to bombings to betrayals. But there is always the hope of tomorrow. And although Josef, Isabel, and Mahmoud are separated by continents and decades, shocking connections will tie their stories together in the end.

| Goodreads | Amazon |

The Ungrateful Refugee: What Immigrants Never Tell You by Dina Nayeri

GENRE: Nonfiction/Memoir

GOODREADS SUMMARY: What is it like to be a refugee? It is a question many of us do not give much thought to, and yet there are more than 25 million refugees in the world. To be a refugee is to grapple with your place in society, attempting to reconcile the life you have known with a new, unfamiliar home. All this while bearing the burden of gratitude in your host nation: the expectation that you should be forever thankful for the space you have been allowed.

Aged eight, Dina Nayeri fled Iran along with her mother and brother, and lived in the crumbling shell of an Italian hotel-turned-refugee camp. Eventually she was granted asylum in America. She settled in Oklahoma, then made her way to Princeton. In this book, Nayeri weaves together her own vivid story with the stories of other refugees and asylum seekers in recent years, bringing us inside their daily lives and taking us through the different stages of their journeys, from escape to asylum to resettlement. In these pages, a couple falls in love over the phone, and women gather to prepare the noodles that remind them of home. A closeted queer man tries to make his case truthfully as he seeks asylum, and a translator attempts to help new arrivals present their stories to officials.

Nothing here is flattened; nothing is simplistic. Nayeri offers a new understanding of refugee life, confronting dangers from the metaphor of the swarm to the notion of "good" immigrants. She calls attention to the harmful way in which Western Governments privilege certain dangers over others. With surprising and provocative questions, The Ungrateful Refugee recalibrates the conversation around the refugee experience. Here are the real human stories of what it is like to be forced to flee your home, and to journey across borders in the hope of starting afresh.

| Goodreads | Amazon |

Solito by Javier Zamora

GENRE: Memoir/Non Fiction

GOODREADS SUMMARY: Trip. My parents started using that word about a year ago–"one day, you'll take a trip to be with us. Like an adventure."

Javier Zamora's adventure is a 3,000-mile journey from his small town in El Salvador, through Guatemala and Mexico, and across the U.S. border. He will leave behind his beloved aunt and grandparents to reunite with a mother who left four years ago and a father he barely remembers. Traveling alone amid a group of strangers and a "coyote" hired to lead them to safety, Javier expects his trip to last two short weeks.

At nine years old, all Javier can imagine is rushing into his parents' arms, snuggling in bed between them, and living under the same roof again. He cannot foresee the perilous boat trips, relentless desert treks, pointed guns, arrests and deceptions that will await him; nor can he know that those two weeks will expand into two life-altering months alongside fellow migrants who will come to encircle him like an unexpected family.

A memoir as gripping as it is moving, Solito provides an immediate and intimate account not only of a treacherous and near-impossible journey, but also the miraculous kindness and love delivered at the most unexpected moments. Solito is Javier Zamora's story, but it's also the story of millions of others who had no choice but to leave home.

| Goodreads | Amazon |